Lean on me

13 Dec 2016

Accommodate

Family get-togethers can always trigger a surplus of emotions, and for someone suffering from dementia, it can cause further confusion and agitation. To avoid making it an uncomfortable experience for everyone involved, structure the day to accommodate your loved one to ensure it doesn’t overly disrupt their daily routine. 

“Have your holiday meal at the same time lunch would usually be served,” explains Tamar Krebs, CEO and Founder of Group Homes Australia. “Look at the time of day for your festivities to happen. It might be that Christmas is not done at the night time, but rather during the day when the person is at their best.”

Encourage new traditions

Change your expectations of what your celebrations are supposed to look like and let go of traditions if they are ones that your loved one can’t get involved in. Remember that dementia progresses, which means that every future holiday will change.

“Know that Christmas next year will again be different. Don’t rely on old traditions,” says Krebs. “Look at your loved one's capabilities now and what they enjoy, and start creating new traditions.”

Minimise

Whether it’s the crowd, food or activities, downscaling your festivities will leave less room for over-stimulation and stress. If you’re hosting, decide whether you could have smaller groups of visitors over the duration of a few days, or if you are visiting relatives, schedule a time where there won’t be a huge crowd. “Break down processes and look at where your loved one can contribute. It can be chopping up the vegetables for the big meal or even accompanying you to the post office to mail Christmas cards. There will always be an activity for you to enjoy together,” says Krebs.

Be mindful of the present

Although it may be the first thing that comes to mind, try not to dwell on the things you’ve lost and celebrate the fact that you are spending another Christmas with your loved one. “Be kind to yourself and know that you are going to feel these emotions of sadness and loss,” says Krebs. “Recognise them and reflect on them instead of trying to deny it. Sit with your loved one and try to re-engage and celebrate who they are now.”