Blokes and the blues
30 Mar 2015
Times can get pretty tough for even the most hardened of men, but the good news is you don’t have to go through it alone. Listen up, guys – this one’s for you.
First, you need to know three things: 1. You are not crazy; 2. You are not weak; 3. Depression is actually more common than you think.
We’re talking about male depression. And it’s a serious issue – it’s not one to be fobbed off, brushed off, or sucked up. Why? Because one in eight men will experience depression during his lifetime. Approximately 15 per cent of people over the age of 65 experience depression. And six Australians commit suicide each day, often due to mental health concerns like depression. Five of these people are men. In fact, men aged 80 and over account for the highest suicide rates in the country.
So now that we’ve got your attention, let’s really talk about depression and blokes.
What is depression and why have I got it?
Depression is a health condition – it is not a reflection of you or your character.
“Depression is an illness that needs to be managed – just like diabetes,” states Dr Elizabeth Celi, a psychologist specialising in men’s mental health and author of Regular Joe vs. Mr. Invincible – The Battle For The True Man.
“Depression really is a common experience and no-one has an exact answer of exactly why it happens,” says Dr Brian Graetz, deputy CEO of beyondblue. “But, our biology, psychology and life events are major contributors to depression.”
In general, depression is when you are feeling persistently down.
Some common signs and symptoms of depression include:
- Not doing the things you love or going out and avoiding family and friends
- Relying on alcohol and sedatives
- Feeling overwhelmed, guilty, irritable, frustrated, unhappy, disappointed, miserable and sad
- Lacking in confidence and concentration
- Being indecisive
- Having frequent negative thoughts
- Feeling tired all the time
- Being sick and run down
- Having headaches, muscle pains, a churning stomach
- Having sleep problems
- A change in appetite, such as eating more or less and weight loss or gain
Key times in life when depression might spark up are during times of change and transition such as ageing or illness. “Some people may experience depression throughout their life for various reasons including biological factors, whereas for many it comes up during times of significant change,” says Dr Celi.
When you age, there is an increased risk of many chronic health conditions, which can lead to feelings of depression and anxiety. There are also a number of significant changes during this period of your life such as retirement, moving house and downsizing, and possible loss of spouses and friends due to death.
All of these things can create a sense of loss, which increases the chance of developing depression.
How do I get treatment and support?
There are two types of treatment and support for men. In some cases, medication can be used, in others, therapy (such as seeing a psychologist, counsellor or psychiatrist), or a combination of both. Life is much better with support and treatment.
“From our experience, the biggest breakthroughs come when people say, ‘I need help’ to a friend or family member. This opening up lifts a huge burden, and then makes it easier to access professional help,” says Dr Graetz. “It’s also easier to get help when you first start to notice the signs and symptoms of depression, rather than waiting until the depression is severe as then being willing to ask for help becomes extremely hard.”
Dr Celi highlights that getting help with your mental health skills is no different to getting a tune up at the mechanic or getting a sports coach to help you out with a skill you’re having trouble with. You wouldn’t avoid getting your car tuned or improving your right hook.
When Dr Celi works with her clients with depression, she helps them to develop a healthy emotional awareness and emotional literacy so they can recognise, acknowledge, describe and label their emotions. Then she helps men to learn skills to deal with their thought processes and negative emotions, so when a situation comes up that sparks skewed thinking or difficult emotions, they have the tool kit to productively deal with it.
The important thing is to take the first steps to get help. The longer you put off seeking assistance the more difficult he depression will be to manage.
“Depression won’t go away on its own. It’s a signal that something is wrong and something needs to change. You’ll be surprised that dealing with it is not as difficult and doesn’t take as long as you think, and once you start, you’ll wonder why you didn’t get help sooner.”
How do I deal with the stigma?
Often men have grown up in an environment where seeking help for mental health issues or their emotions is a sign of weakness and that they are crazy.
“Men fear that other people won’t accept or understand that they have depression,” reveals Dr Graetz. “But if they just tell others, they’ll tend to find that people will want to help and support them. Men should also realise that everyone will have problems of some type during their life and will need to talk about them.”
Dr Celi agrees. “Depression requires emotions to be dealt with, which historically has been socially unacceptable for men. But this is not the case today,” explains Dr Celi. “Your emotions matter. Men have emotions just like everyone else. And that’s perfectly normal.”
“The more men who come forward and are willing to talk about their feelings, the more the stigma associated with mental health will reduce,” says Dr Graetz.
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