And Then It Was Winter

20 Aug 2024

Kumar, a member of Boulcott Probus Club, supplied a beautiful article that expresses what life as a retiree is like.

Time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years. It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life. Yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wondered where all the years went. I know that I lived them all. I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams. But here it is...the WINTER OF MY LIFE and it catches me by surprise. How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go? As I have aged, I have become kinder to, and less critical of myself. I am trying to become my own friend.

I remember well seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that winter was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like. But, here it is, my friends are retired and getting grey ... they move slower and I see an older person now. Some are in a better and some worse shape than me; but I see the great change ...not like the ones that i remember who were young and vibrant...but, like me their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd be. Some have never laughed and too many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you get older it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I have even earned the right to be wrong!

Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore; it's mandatory. Because if I don't on my own free will , I just fall asleep where I sit! Now I have realised how old I was. I have never been this old before and whilst I am still here I should make the most of my life because I understand the memory of a well spent life is eternal. I pause to think the meaning of life. I came across a beautiful answer: when a person is born he has breath but no name and when he dies, he has name but no breath. The gap between breath and name is life.... .! Life is a question that nobody can answer and Death is an answer, which nobody
can question.

But, at least I know, that though the winter has come, I am not sure how long it will last. But this much I know, that it is over on this earth; perhaps NOT quite over as yet! Sooner or later a new adventure will begin.

Yes, I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn't done; things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I am happy to have done.

Life goes by quickly, as one can never be sure whether this is your winter or not! There is no guarantee that I will see all the seasons of my life. I quote, "Life" is a gift; the way you live your life is your gift to those who come after... it is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver. Today is the oldest you have been, yet the youngest you will ever be". Life may not have
been the party that we had hoped for but whilst we are here we might as well 'dance the life'.

Going out is good, coming home is better! You forget names, but it is okay because other people forgot that they even know you! The things that you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore. You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It is called pre-sleep. You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and 'OFF" switch. You tend to use more 4 letter words.... what?..when?. Now that you can afford expensive jewellery, it is not safe to wear it anywhere. What used to be freckles are now liver spots. You have three sizes of clothes in your closet; two of which you will never wear. But old is gold in some things: old songs, old movies and best of all, old friends!

As they say, it is not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived!